I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
