I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
