Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize