also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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