One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
