His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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