Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
