I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
