dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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