No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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