was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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