new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
