i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
