so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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