farters have to be the big spoon...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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