If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i came on her dog
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
