I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize