So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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