kristin has been a bad kristin
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
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