just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
