Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
