My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
