its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
