if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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