just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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