i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it glows. i had to have it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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