i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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