You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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