This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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