Jerry, you need to find god
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
