Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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