So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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