Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
