Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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