like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
