Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
