All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
