why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
