Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
