every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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