I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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