she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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