Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
