worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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