i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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