HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
