Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
