I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
