May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
