i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
PANTIES FOUND
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