the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize