yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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