Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
