how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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