i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
