Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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